Losing a Friend and Discovering Faith

Faith Leung, 2nd Place
5th Grade

Although someone may seem nice at first glance, it’s important not to judge a book by its cover. Similarities in heritage may not always give you an advantage in friendship. When I decided to choose my friend by her appearance, I learned the hard way that you have to move on and think of your new friends when you lose one, when choosing friends you have to know their character traits, and don’t lose confidence because someone mistreats you.

On the first day of second grade I arrived to class to see a new girl. She was just like me! She had long, dark brunet hair, with chocolate brown eyes, and skin as exquisite as porcelain. She was Asian and her warm smile lit up the room. We played together at recess and soon we were like two peas in a pod. My other friends started leaving her, but that didn’t stop me. To me she seemed out of this world, we had chess lessons together, I brought her to my church and our golf club’s kids’ Christmas party, with many play dates throughout the year. Suddenly, third grade struck, nobody played with her any more except another girl and me. She was more demanding and at almost every word I said she created an argument. It was always two against one. She and the other girl sided against me. I told my mom, but did nothing else. My heart was filled with hurt and finally my mom told the teacher. I had to tell the girl how I felt. She still didn’t treat me any better, so I left her.

After leaving I felt heavy-hearted. Quickly, I found new friends that when compared to my former “friend”, were out of this universe. I had a better time with them than I ever had with the other girl, but I still roamed around with a heavy-heart. I knew if I didn’t want to be miserable the rest of my life I had to let go of all the things she did to me and think of the future. I thought of how I learned a lesson and it was good for me. I emptied the bad memories and thought to myself, “Because I have learned this lesson, I am now happier than before. I now know the meaning of a true friend.”

Choosing friends is not easy, you have to know their character traits before developing a friendship, or else you might have to learn the hard way, like me. When I met this girl I misjudged her. I thought she was similar to me. She was Asian, I was Asian, her family could speak Chinese and my family could speak Chinese. I used to think heritage would be an advantage in friendship, now I think differently. Now when I choose friends I see how the person acts to everybody, regardless of their heritage. I never realized that kindness and trustworthiness were character traits she lacked. In the future I will look for someone with a personality that can make you laugh, be helpful, kind, and trustworthy.

Surprisingly, when my friend mistreated me, she made me question my self-confidence and my ability to be a loyal friend. At one point in our friendship, she created an argument over the slightest detail. She couldn’t find something about me to fuss about, so she criticized me when I exaggerated in a conversation. This made me feel as irritated as a rash you can’t itch. It’s astonishing that she could make me feel ashamed of myself because I couldn’t satisfy her expectations as a friend. I learned that the reason she was treating me with disrespect wasn’t because I wasn’t a reliable friend, but because she didn’t have confidence in herself.

In this friendship I lost a friend, but gained a wealth of knowledge. I found that reflecting on your new friendships helps you move on from the past. Being familiar with a person’s characteristics is essential before deciding to choose a trustworthy friend. Also, not losing faith in yourself if someone treats you unkindly is an important quality when a friendship is at risk. The most significant piece of wisdom though, is regardless of my Asian heritage; friendships can be painful no matter what culture you are, but afterwards you become a stronger individual. From this friendship I discovered faith in my ability to be a loyal friend and ironically I also discovered me, Faith.